Engaging the 2015 Order of Celebrating Matrimony

Introduction

In 1971, the Australian Church joyfully received the new Rite of Marriage, revised after Vatican II. Crisp, clean and to the point, the text served the Church well for many decades. In 2015, the Holy See approved and confirmed a revised Order of Celebrating Matrimony (OCM). Now, a few years further on, it is opportune to ponder its reception, for better and for worse.

Handling the Language

There is a certain sadness, even irony, that the new rite was issued when fewer couples are seeking a church wedding. Sadder still is the document’s arcane language that almost succeeds in hiding what the rite calls The Importance and Dignity of the Sacrament of Matrimony. For example, the second paragraph reads, A marriage is established by the conjugal covenant, that is, the irrevocable consent of both spouses by which they freely give themselves to each other and accept each other. The phrase ‘conjugal covenant’ is more difficult to conjugate than a German verb! The 2015 introduction seems at times to assume that the language of daily life is not sufficiently holy for God.

Where is the strong, simple language of Vatican II? By the incarnation, the Son of God has united himself in some fashion with every human being. He worked with human hands, thought with a human mind, acted by human choice, and loved with a human heart (GS 22). It is this incarnational approach which would help couples to uncover and cherish what is true, good and beautiful in their relationship.

Nevertheless, the expanded introduction (double the length) contains many memorable phrases.  As couples strive to nurture and foster their union in equal dignity, mutual giving and undivided love… divine and human realities are united.  This enables couples to persevere in good times and in bad times, faithful in body and mind… (OCM 9).  These are words that a presider might reflect on, phrase by phrase, with the couple.

The latest edition of the liturgical book also contains new texts for introductions, collects, and the reception of consent, as well as additional readings. It contains an entirely new chapter on celebrating matrimony in the presence of a lay minister and has incorporated from the Book of Blessings rites for blessing an engaged couple and a married couple on their anniversary.

Engaging the possibilities

Pastoral care in the Christian community has four areas of importance in relation to the sacrament of matrimony: catechesis, preparation, celebration, support (OCM 14).

1. CATECHESIS, adapted to children young, people and adults, takes place through preaching and through the means of social communication. (The rite embraces the technological age!) This provides the background and context which will encourage young people to seek marriage in a church. The introduction sees here an opportunity for evangelisation.

In conducting the preparation, pastors, taking into account prevailing attitudes toward marriage and the family, should endeavour to evangelise the couple’s authentic and mutual love in the light of faith. Even the requirements of law for contracting a valid and licit marriage can serve to promote a living faith and fruitful love between the couple, ordered toward establishing a Christian family (OCM 20).

Forty-five years ago, Pope Paul VI outlined the challenging process of evangelisation which is the essential mission of the Church. It entails upsetting, through the power of the Gospel, humankind’s criteria for judgment, determining values, points of interest, lines of thought, sources of inspiration and models of life which are in contrast with the Word of God and the plan of salvation (EN 19). This is the starting point for marriage preparation.

2. PREPARATION for marriage concerns naturally the future spouses themselves and their families, but also the pastor and the entire ecclesial community who ensure the pastoral and liturgical care of the couple (OCM 12). A key element in fostering and nourishing the faith of the couple is welcome (OCM 16). The rites, prayers and readings will play a role in preparing a thoughtful and fruitful marriage (OCM 17).

One of the clearest innovations here is incorporating into the OCM an appendix containing an ‘Order of Blessing an Engaged Couple’ (OCM 253-271). The rite is simple. Between introductory rites and the conclusion is a reading from scripture, prayers of intercession and the blessing prayer. It is envisaged that one of the parents may appropriately preside.

The honourable betrothal of Christians, therefore, is a special occasion for two families, appropriately celebrated with some ceremony and with common prayer, so that, upon receiving the divine blessing, what is joyfully begun may in its own time be joyfully completed (OCM 253).

It is important that no promise or commitment be exchanged by the couple so that the blessing ceremony does not pre-empt in any way the actual marriage itself. For this reason it might be best if it is not celebrated by the priest or deacon or held in the church. The gathering together of family and friends, perhaps with a BBQ, may appropriately be hosted by the couple who has been married the longest. Participants might say a few words, the couple’s song played and good wishes offered.

3. CELEBRATION of the marriage liturgy has four key elements: the scripture readings, the consent of the bride and groom, the venerable prayer of blessing and finally eucharistic communion. The aim is full, active and conscious participation by all, though with a diverse assembly of family and friends this is often difficult to achieve.

Attention should be given to the appropriate use of options provided in the rite (OCM 29). A basic decision is whether to celebrate the marriage within Mass (where both parties are Catholic). Many choices are offered in the readings, prayers and gestures of the rite. A sung acclamation may be introduced after the consent. OCM also contains newly-minted words of greeting. At their best, Catholic marriage ceremonies are quite attractive, not too verbose and not ‘over before they have started’.

In the 2015 edition, the introductory rites have been elaborated and clarified but the provisions are essentially unchanged (OCM 45-50). The liturgy does not endorse anyone ‘giving the bride away’. The priest or deacon greets the couple warmly either at the door of the church or at the place where the couple will sit. This honestly reflects the social reality of the couple’s life before the wedding. Still, the cultural expectation that the father will walk his daughter down the aisle is strong in Australia even after using the marriage rite for fifty years.

The Order of Celebrating Matrimony without Mass has introduced another new element, namely the rite of distributing holy communion from the tabernacle. The liturgical book does not say so, but one imagines that this would only be used if a deacon was celebrating the marriage of two Catholics. It is also included in the Order of Celebrating Matrimony in the Presence of an Assisting Layperson. This chapter is another innovation in OCM.

Using a lay minister may be helpful in isolated communities without a priest or deacon, or where the pastoral leader of the community is a religious or lay person. Such a person would need the approval of the bishop and, in Australia, would need to be authorised by the state marriage registrar. The lay person may be able to share the experience of Christian married life in a way that a priest cannot. This welcome provision has not been taken up in Australia (or at least has only been used in exceptional circumstances). It does highlight, however, the fact that the couple themselves are the minsters of the sacrament of matrimony, with the presider simply being an official witness on behalf of the Church.

4. SUPPORT of couples after marriage also receives some attention in the OCM. This dimension begins already at the wedding liturgy itself. A well-crafted sentence of welcome may acknowledge the presence of parents, grandparents and others whose marriage is a model for the young couple, though the presider needs to be aware that some of those present may be divorced. In any case, the readings, homily and the pledge of love and fidelity by the newly married couple should all inspire those present to strive to live their relationships in a fuller love.

The Introduction notes that God, who has called the couple to marriage, continues to call them to marriage. It lauds a marriage that is desired, prepared for, celebrated, and lived daily in the light of faith (OCM 11).

As with the time of engagement, here once again, the most significant contribution of the 2015 edition is the addition of the Order for Blessing of a Married Couple on the Anniversary of Marriage.  It is envisaged that such a blessing would occur at Sunday Mass on the 25th, 50th or 60th  anniversary of the wedding.  This provides not only affirmation of the success of the marriage but also a witness to the parish of what is possible in married life. The Order of Blessing draws attention to the resources in the Roman Missal and the Lectionary and provides beautiful texts for the renewal itself.

Supporting a couple in marriage however does not need to wait for decades.  It begins from day one.  Let us accompany this new family with our prayers that the mutual love of this couple may grow daily and that God in his kindness will sustain all families throughout the world (OCM 252).

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This article was originally published in Liturgy News ​Vol 49(4) December 2019.  Reprinted with permission.