Family-Friendly Parish Liturgy: Mission Possible! ​

Every parish dreams of having vibrant multi-generational assemblies at weekend liturgies. Families and children bring so much energy and life to community worship. Engaging this demographic is vital for the future of local parish communities and for the Church as a whole. However, most families are unlikely to connect with a parish community unless the liturgy engages them and especially their children. This requires intentional planning, preparation and commitment to ensure that families and children are welcomed, acknowledged and feel that their needs are catered for.

A 2007 research project by the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference, investigated Catholics who have stopped attending Mass. The report “noted the phenomenon of adult attendance being determined by their children and not the other way around” (Dixon et al, ACBC Pastoral Research Office, 2007, p 51). Now, almost 20 years later, children’s influence over family life and decisions is possibly even stronger. Intentionally engaging children in parish liturgical celebrations can actually help connect, or reconnect, a whole family with the Church and the practice of their faith.

Full, Conscious and Active Participation

In 1963, Sacrosanctum Concilium (SC), called for “full, conscious and active participation in liturgical celebrations” by all the faithful (SC 14). It further stated that this “full and active participation by all the people, not just the adults, is the aim to be considered before all else” (SC 14). To achieve this aim of participation, SC acknowledged that some “legitimate variations and adaptations” to the liturgy should be provided for “different groups, regions and peoples” (SC 38). One of the groups of particular concern was children.

Directory for Masses with Children

In 1973, one of the Church’s best-kept secrets, the Directory for Masses with Children (DMC), was promulgated. The Vatican sought to address the fact that the Eucharist “cannot fully exercise (its) inherent pedagogical force upon children” (DMC 2). Even though Latin would no longer be the exclusive language of liturgy, “still the words and signs have not been sufficiently adapted to the capacity of children” (DMC 2). Although the Directory mentions the challenge of children being bored at Mass a number of times, a greater fear is of “spiritual harm if over the years children repeatedly experience in the Church things that are barely comprehensible” (DMC 2). The DMC sought to address these challenges by providing strategies and guidelines “to help children readily and joyfully to encounter Christ together in the Eucharistic celebration” (DMC 55).

Unfortunately, many priests, parish liturgy teams and pastoral musicians are unaware of the existence of the Directory. Even those who know of the document assume it is for ‘school Masses’ and has no relevance to parish liturgical celebrations. Nothing could be further from the truth! While much of the document addresses “Masses With Children in Which Only a Few Adults Participate,” effectively school Masses, articles 16-19 specifically focus on “Masses With Adults in Which Children Also Participate,” i.e. general parish Eucharistic liturgy. Further, DMC promotes parishes employing some of the other adaptations later in the document (for Masses in schools) “wherever the bishop permits” (DMC 19).

In parish Masses, “it is necessary to take great care that the children present do not feel neglected” because they are too young to understand what is being ritualised, prayed and proclaimed (DMC 17). The Directory counsels that children should be acknowledged and spoken to directly by the presider in the introductory comments and “at some point in the homily” (DMC 17). While the needs of the children may be partly met if they are withdrawn for a separate Liturgy of the Word with Children, it is still important that they are not otherwise ignored when they are present in the assembly. Indeed, the Directory suggests that “if the number of children is large, it may at times be suitable to plan the Mass so that it corresponds more closely to the needs of the children” (DMC 19).

Welcome & Hospitality

Mass begins long before it begins; it commences as people arrive and an assembly forms. A well-trained, rostered Welcome Ministry is a vital part of parish liturgical ministry. Welcomers help build up a sense of community and belonging as individuals become members of the liturgical Body of Christ. This sense of a genuine welcome is especially true for families with children. Many will have previous experiences of stern looks and negative comments about their noisy or ‘fiddly’ children or complaints about “sitting in my seat.” If a parish wants them in the assembly, families must be welcomed unconditionally and supported in their efforts to bring their children to church.

Church door welcomers can help by not just engaging with parents but interacting with the children who love to be acknowledged as valued individuals in their own right. However, a warm and friendly welcome at the front door means little if a family is ignored, or worse, once they get inside. An attitude of genuine welcome and inclusiveness must be actively promoted in the whole community so that every parishioner takes responsibility as a minister of welcome.

Many parishes include a spoken welcome and introduction just before Mass begins. Including a verbal welcome and acknowledgement of families and children in this introduction speaks volumes to them, and provides a gentle reminder to the gathered assembly of their responsibility to be the non-judgmental face of Christ to all.  “We especially welcome families with children to our liturgy this morning. We value your presence so please let your children be children; a little noise and some wriggles or dancing is absolutely fine here.”

Tea, coffee and biscuit hospitality after Mass is another vital aspect of a parish’s welcome strategy.  This provides a reason to stay and engage, to meet others and to promote a sense of community. Tea, coffee and dry biscuits won’t have much appeal for children, so ensure that their tastes are catered for. Hot chocolate in winter and snow cones in summer let children know that we care about them.

A note of caution - nothing is less welcoming than the new family standing on their own at the cuppa after Mass. Welcome ministers should be rostered on both before after Mass, to ensure that everyone is acknowledged, engaged, included and introduced to others.

Singing & Music

Participation is fundamental in liturgical celebrations and the DMC states that such participation is “even more significant for Masses celebrated with children” (DMC 22). The US Bishops Conference document, Sing to the Lord: Music in Catholic Worship (STL), reminds us that “singing is one of the primary ways that the assembly of the faithful participates actively in the Liturgy” (STL 26) and the Directory urges that singing “is to be especially encouraged in every way for Masses celebrated with children in view of their special affinity for music” (DMC 30). ‘Connecting these dots’ clearly suggests that one of the best ways to encourage and enable children to participate fully, actively and consciously in liturgy is to include some songs which they too are able to sing and which have lyrics that they can understand.

That is not to suggest that every song at a regular parish Mass should be a ‘kid’s song.’ Indeed, it is important that our children become familiar with general parish repertoire and participate as they are able.  However, why can’t those preparing liturgy consciously select at least one ‘child-friendly’ song at every parish Mass? There is no part of the liturgy where this is not possible.  Firstly, when choosing a Mass setting, consider whether it can be easily sung by the whole Assembly, including children. Selecting a suitable Gathering, Offertory, Communion or Recessional song will allow children to participate and make them feel acknowledged and welcome. Connect with the local Catholic school to find out what songs they are currently using and help create a tangible liturgical connection between the parish and the school.

It is important to understand that any children’s song that mentions “God,” “Jesus,” “love” or “sharing and caring” is not automatically ‘liturgical.’  Similarly, the fact that the children know, or like a particular song does not necessarily qualify it as a suitable for Mass, either in the parish or the school. Many songs which children sing in Catholic schools or in Religious Education classes were composed for catechetical rather than liturgical purposes. The suitability of any song for use in liturgy must be evaluated using judgments clearly espoused in the documents, Sing to the Lord, Music in Catholic Worship and noted in Music in the Order of the Mass (National Liturgical Music Council - ACBC).

Firstly, a musical judgment: is this composition “technically, aesthetically, and expressively worthy?” (STL 134); i.e. is it ‘good’ music? However, care needs to be taken that personal preferences in musical genre or compositional complexity are not confused with musical value (MCW 28). Many songs specifically composed for children contain repetition and simple melodies and harmonies; however simplicity is not necessarily the same as banality. Simple, ‘singable’ songs which are well-crafted can be enthusiastically sung by children and adults alike.

The second judgment is a liturgical one. Does the song fit this particular liturgy, this part of the liturgy, and the season or feast that we are celebrating? Does the musical style and language of this Gathering song effectively form ‘the many’ into one Assembly? Is the language inclusive, speaking of ‘we,’ ‘us’ and ‘our,’ rather than ‘I,’ ‘me’ and ‘my’? Does the song I am considering to accompany the Communion procession allow the assembly to express “union in spirit by means of the unity of their voices” and highlight the “communitarian nature of the procession” (GIRM 86), rather than being a hymn of personal adoration?

The pastoral judgment “takes into consideration the actual community gathered to celebrate in a particular place at a particular time” (STL 130).  Can these people sing this song?  Does it resonate with their age and their culture? Does this piece help this community to consciously and actively pray together? These three criteria, musical, liturgical and pastoral, must be considered for each piece of music, both standard repertoire and ‘children’s songs,’ chosen for a liturgical celebration. In doing so, we give our Assembly the best opportunity to fully participate through singing appropriate and meaningful songs which support and accompany the community’s worship.

Over-arching these three criteria is a theological/textual judgment. There is a principle expressed in Latin as lex orandi, lex credendi: as we pray, so we believe, or in the case of sung prayer, as we sing, so we believe. When repeatedly praying or singing a particular text, we come to believe it to be true. To ensure that we are in fact singing “the truth,” the Church insists that the lyrics of the songs we sing, especially during Mass, are “always in conformity with Catholic doctrine … and should be drawn chiefly from scripture and liturgical sources” (Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy 121).

Music Ministers

Vibrant and engaging liturgical music depends on talented, trained music ministers are who well-prepared and can draw the assembly (adults and children) into full, conscious and active sung participation. Liturgical musicians must be confident and competent and focused on ‘leading’ rather than ‘performing.’ Especially for more contemporary musical styles and genres, it is worth listening to recordings of the songs so that the tempo and ‘feel’ of the music can be respected and realized.

Liturgy of the Word

If a parish Mass has a ‘large number’ of children “it may at times be suitable to plan the Mass so that it corresponds more closely to the needs of the children” (DMC 19). This is especially poignant in the Liturgy of the Word. Choosing the Lectionary for Masses with Children (LMC), which uses the officially approved Contemporary English Version translation, makes the scripture readings more accessible to children and adults. Additionally, the Directory counsels that “the homily should be directed to [the children] but in such a way that adults may also benefit from it” (DMC 19).

The Priest

Engagement and participation in liturgy, especially for children, hinges on the presiding priest. It is his responsibility “to make the celebration festive, familial & meditative. [The liturgy] depends on his personal preparation and his manner of acting and speaking with others” (DMC 23). The priest’s words of welcome, and especially the homily, are opportunities to genuinely and warmly engage with children. If he is comfortable, “sometimes the homily intended for children should become a dialogue with them” (DMC 48). If he finds this difficult, he “may invite one of the other adults to [also] speak to the children after the gospel” (DMC 24).

Eucharistic Prayer

The Church has provided three officially authorised Eucharistic Prayers for Masses with Children (EPMC). The language and images included more effectively engage children (and adults) in this central part of the Eucharistic celebration. The inclusion of extra acclamations, especially in EPMC II, enables extra sung participation by the assembly throughout the prayer.

Children in Liturgical Ministry

Children love to be involved in liturgical ministries. Not every ministry will be suitable for them, however consider these opportunities for well-prepared children who have the necessary skills and talents:

Music Ministry – choir, cantor, instruments, movement, dance

Liturgy of the Word – readers, drama, psalmist, Universal Prayer petitions

Processions: Entrance, Book of the Gospels, Gifts

Other: Altar servers, children rostered with their Family on Welcome & Hospitality ministry,

Collecting with a parent.

Opportunities to Engage

Some parishioners make it very clear that they are disgruntled by families who only attend Mass at Christmas, Easter and preparation and celebration of Confirmation and First Communion. Rather than being an imposition, it is imperative that these times are embraced and that the whole parish community is educated to see these as amazing opportunities to evangelise; a chance for families and children to experience the vibrant, inclusive and welcoming liturgy that the parish community has to offer them. A key question for those who prepare these liturgies is, “What are we offering that will encourage these families to come back next week?”

Conclusion

It isn’t easy, but it is definitely worthwhile. With a shared parish vision, committed leadership, perseverance and preparation, engaging and life-giving family-friendly liturgy truly is ‘Mission Possible.’ And it can positively impact the life of your whole parish!

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This article was first published in Mystery & Mission: The Art of Liturgical Celebration. © 2023 Liturgy Publications, Brisbane. Reprinted with permission.

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